Most of you who have visited recently have heard Raphael and I talk about this new place on the Internet called Second Life (SL). You have heard how we have explained it as this virtual world. But really it’s a whole lot more, it may be the future of the internet. Over at Znet they begin to talk about SL’s network structure and how it is set virtually the same way the Internet is, using the Tiled Network. Basically each Server independently services anywhere from 1-3 Grids or Islands if you will. On each of these Islands users can purchase property (web space), a small plot comes with the paid membership of $6 and change a month if you pay yearly. On this property you basically build your site using 3D elements. It can incorporate music, video, purchasing (although not in Real Life (RL) yet), and well as links to your more typical 2D pages that you are viewing this on. It even goes another step in the direction of the Internet by allowing chat between the users, but now you can actually see the character. It’s very interactive. Picture this, you run a small store in RL, and get yourself a space in SL. Your chilling out on one of the benches outside your building, and a visitor comes up taking a look at what you sell in RL and in SL. Well now you can talk to him or her directly while they are visiting your site. You explain the product, and even Rez (produce a model) of it, maybe even go as far as making it act the same way it would in RL. For the Internet this is a huge jump forward. But in the end is it something that is really beneficial to us as a people.
It’s seems the word around town is that I need to write more. My guess is that some of you may be interested as to where I am at. As many of you know I change the design of the website more than I blog. To be honest, there is just not much to write. While that is not completely true, but I find the more I ramble the further down the downward spiral I descend to the point of paralysis, and not knowing what to do. So I find my self at the basics.
Do I believe in a God or not?
I answer yes. Many may want to ask why? And my response is not to try to intellectualize this, but follow my gut and my heart.
So many of you may begin to wonder if I am still Orthodox, or if I truly was?
The answer is I wanted to be, I wanted to believe that Orthodoxy was the root of Christianity, and that I would finally be at peace worshipping the One True God. My conflict with intercessions (with the deceased), icons, hierarchy, multiple facets of God that do not know the will of the other continued to rise. I prayed for a comforted heart if all that I was being taught was true. It never came, matter of fact it was one Sunday as I stood before the Icon of the Archangel Michael (my Orthodox patron saint) that I realized that I was not comfortable with this at all, so uncomfortable that I just stood there in silence no longer able to participate or agree with the church teachings that I was expected to participate in each Sunday, and in my daily prayers.
Part of me felt guilty, for many reasons. One, that it hasn’t even been a year since I was accepted into the faith. Two, I realized that I was affecting the commitement of another, my roomie, as I was his ride each Sunday, which would affect his ability to make it to church each Sunday. May God bless him for his commitment, fortitude, and overcoming these struggles. And Three, that I still have not developed a firm faith with my Creator.
I live in complete fear of God, fear that I do not know Him, and that I never really will. So I find myself sticking with the basics.
1) I believe in God
2) I believe in no other gods, and that God (Eloihm, Allah) is Supreme over all.
3) I believe that God is Merciful, and that God will be merciful to this undeserving mortal for continuing to try serve Him.
I quote Thomas Merton, “If you find God with great ease, perhaps it is not God that you have found”
Where Faith and Intellect Conflict!!
Is faith suppose to be completely blind, or should it make sense? God created us with the power to think and reason things out, are we suppose to completely disregard this gift, and throw common sense out the window. Personally I don’t think so, otherwise God would have just created us with the brain power of an ameoba.
Here is some verses that lead to questions.
“Jesus answered them and said, “My doctrine is not Mine, but His
who sent Me.” [John 7:16]
“He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word
which you hear is not Mine but the Father’s who sent Me.” [John 14:24]
“For I have not spoken on My own authority; but the Father who
sent Me gave Me a command, what I should say and what I should speak.” [John 12:49]
If Jesus WAS God, and equal to the Father, then wouldn’t these be HIS doctrines, HIS words, HIS authority?
“Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent
me, and to accomplish his work.” [John 4:34]
“For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but
the will of Him who sent Me.” [John 6:38]
“saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me;
nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” [Luke 22:42]
Once again if the Father and the Son are the same, would not their wills be the same?
” I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment
is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the
Father who sent Me.” [John 5:30]
“You heard me say, `I am going away and I am coming back to you.’ If you
loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.” [John 14:28]
How is the Father greater than the Son if They are One?
“Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me,
for I proceeded and came forth from God; I came not of my own accord,
but he sent me.” [ John 8:42]
Once again a contradiction, for Jesus was sent by the will of God, would not Jesus will be the same, but here he says it was not his will (he also doesn’t say it wasn’t his will also, but it shows they are different).
“To sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for
those for whom it has been prepared by my Father” [Matthew 20:23]
If Jesus and the Father are one, would not it also be his decision?
Some more to think about?
“But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in
heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” [Mr 13:32]
“But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of
heaven, but My Father only.” [Mt 24:36]
“So Jesus answered them, “My teaching is not mine, but his who
sent me” [John 7:16]
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the
kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.” [Mt 7:21]
“And the Father himself, which hath sent me, hath borne witness of
me. Ye have neither heard his voice at any time, nor seen his shape. [John 5:37]
“And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good
but God alone.” [Mr 10:18]
“And I do not seek My own glory; there is One who seeks and judges.” [John 8:50]
There are many other things that stand out, but this is enough to keep our plates full for awhile.
Struggling!!!!
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