Last night I was asked if I have ever told my family, or friends that I converted to Islam. Ashamedly I responded a simple, no. Well let me take that back. At work I find it easy to talk about to my coworkers, actually far easier than when I was Christian, and maybe part of this has to do with the fact that I was really struggling with the Christian faith, so I never really talked about it. But when it comes to family, a family who is so rooted in Christianity, it seems so much harder. A family who brought me up from a little child by taking me to Sunday School, helping out in youth group, and working on multiple retreats together. Would I lose the respect of my family, my closest friends? Maybe. But two things have taken place that really have brought me to the point where I MUST say something. 1) My sister has just had twins, who will be baptized this coming November, and I has asked me to come to be a part of the baptism. While attending such a momentous occasion, as well as being there for my sister is not a conflict, standing up there with her saying I would help raise her children in a Christian up bringing would. 2) A few months “after” I finally took my Shahadah I met an absolutely amazing Muslim woman. But I cringe at the thought that my family would think that it is because of her, and blame her for my conversion, because I didn’t meet her until after.
So after an already long struggle how do I tell my family that I converted to Islam, and maintain some form of respect from them? How do you tell everyone that you just converted to a faith that is so misunderstood by those outside?
Carefully, and with the guidance and remembrance of Allah.
The Prophet narrated: “Allah (SWT) says: ‘I am to my servant as he expects of Me, I am with him when he remembers Me. If he remembers Me in his heart, I remember him in My heart, and if he remembers Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly better than his, and if he draws nearer to Me a hand’s span, I draw nearer to him an arm’s length, and if he comes to me walking I come to him running.”
So I was thinking maybe I should share with all of you first how it all happened.
Like many of the new converts I began investigating Islam shortly after 9/11. I was living in Philadelphia at the time, and had been walking around Germantown, where I ran into a Islamic shop owner and started asking some questions, more out of curiosity sake than anything else. Upon leaving he gave me a small booklet, which I still have to this day. I would breeze though it from time to time, but between the media and my roots in Christianity I pretty much kept at bay. I would periodically pick up books and peruse through them, and slowly started to see how Islam is not this vicious religion that the media and fundamentalists makes it out to be, but a faith where it teaches respect for family, and community; social justice, equality for women and love of Allah (God in Arabic). So I managed to work myself passed the misconceptions that the media was presenting, realizing that most of what we see today are cultural issues, as well as extremist issues but did not represent Islam and the Ummah (community) as a whole. But my Christian roots still held, although I have seriously questioned many aspects of it for many years. Shortly after moving to North Carolina I started attending the Orthodox Church in hopes that the oldest of the Christian faiths would bring some enlightenment. While entranced by the beauty of worship I found myself shuttering at so many things. So many more questions and struggles came up. While I admit I have met some really great people through Orthodoxy, like Fr. Greg, Fr. Pete and Huw (who has been a Godsend when things got rough for me), and whom I mean no disrespect to by this article, I found that Christianity as it is today no longer held the answers I was seeking, communion and worship of the Creator. It was about October or November almost 2 years ago that I then started heading up to the local Masjid and really asking questions. I spent about 6 or 7 months there, struggling through many aspects, much of it mostly from stuff that I was brought up to believe. So after some thorough investigation, I took a break, so that I could examine my faith on neutral ground. I would pray silently, seeking answers. About November, a year ago Zach from the local Masjid, emailed me, asked my how I had been. He mentioned how I had been missed at the Masjid, and that I was always welcome. 2 Months later I found myself walking back into the Masjid, finding all the brothers there from before, greeting me as I had never left. I prayed Salat with them. For once I truly felt at peace, here I was praying with my fellow brothers to God, and God alone. No intermediaries, no priests that I had to go through to commune with God, just God and all my brothers and sisters all on equal footing. AlhumdiAllah. another month later I took my Shahadah. Wow, has it been 7 months already?
I was asked if maybe my hesitation to tell my family had anything to do with me questioning my faith, and I can clearly say no. Everyday I find my faith growing stronger instead of weaker. My biggest struggle is learning the language. But, InshAllah, may Allah make that easy. Am I the best Muslim I can be, absolutely not, I still have far to go. But Allah has placed people in my life to make it easier as well as to grow with. For once I do not question my life, but know that Allah is in control of it, providing all that is best for me, for Allah knows best.
So I ask all of you my brothers and sisters to pray for me that Allah will assist me in this great task of telling my family, that my Imam will continue to grow, and that I may be a good example of the faith.
UPDATE: Done =)